I’ve been working full time outside the home for just over a month now. The kids have adjusted very well to having to eat breakfast at school instead of home, and to going to a strange house after school for a couple hours. As they get older there is more homework to do, guitar lessons had to be moved to the evening. Then there are the adult’s activities to fit in. I honestly don’t know how people who have kids in several activities do it. I feel like I barely keep up now.
Priorities have had to change, of course. My house really is no better no worse…it doesn’t get messed up while we’re gone, but there are just some nights I get home from work and the only thing I want to do is sit and vegetate and clutter piles up. Laundry has become strictly a weekend activity. Dinners are usually simple. My gym workouts have decreased in time and frequency. It’s not the getting up at 4ish am I mind (oh who am I kidding, who LIKES to get up then?), but by the time I get there, get my gear on, and workout, I can get about an hour in before I have to go shower & get ready for work. Gone are the 2-3 hours spent there. Then to pile on top of that the goodies that people bring to the office, and having to eat quick lunches, I don’t eat the healthiest. And the scale is showing it :(
Sometimes I question myself, can I do this? How can I be better organized? Inevitably I forget something in my daily scheme—key for work, snack for the kids at school, my lunch. One of my biggest worries about going back to work was being able to handle everything in daily life. Between learning the new job duties and adjusting to this new life, anxiety does get the best of me sometimes. I guess all in all I’ve handled this last month better than I thought I would. This time of year is usually hard for me anyway with less sunlight and outdoors due to weather. For someone who’s dealt with depression and mental health issues, this meant increasing my Prozac dose. I really hope that helps me keep myself put together as life continues to move along.
I know it’s a myth that a woman can be “supermom” and have it all, something has to give. But it doesn’t stop life from happening and I need to be able to keep on trying. For my family, for my health.